My second rejection email arrived yesterday. It is hard not to feel deflated, and I am not at all consoled by tales of highly successful authors who received many rejections before finding the right one.
It is perhaps like looking for a husband (although I never found them hard to find, just that I got fed up with them too quickly). It is highly unlikely that the first man you meet will turn out to be the one, although it is not unheard of. Maybe it is the same with agents, and the trick is just to keep getting back on the horse.
There are many similarities between this process and looking for a life partner. Timing is obviously crucial - I need to find someone who is also looking for me. They must have the capacity, and I also need to have what they are looking for, and what fits in with what they already have. And they need to see something that they like in me, and in my book. Mutual attraction, a spark.
No doubt some of it is down to luck, but I have to make sure that I am also the right person with the right goods. It is difficult to know whether it is worthwhile investing in writing courses, or beta readers? (To set up a profile on a dating website or download the tinder app?) Or just leave it to chance and hope for the best. And I need to put on a good show - make the book and my submission the best that that they can be (or with the love search analogy, get my roots done and wear my heels and go heavy on the lip gloss).
It is hard to know if what I have done is good enough, and I have read that if a writer receives more than ten or twelve rejections, they need to make some changes. I am not at that stage yet, although I only started contact in mid October so it is still early days. I should be positive, and also accept the rejections as feedback and an indication that I do need to make some changes because nobody is snatching my hand off. Or are they just not doing it yet? Is it fate, and the perfect agent is just about to read my submission? Or am I just not good enough? Unfortunately most of the agencies make it very clear that they are not able to offer feedback on submissions so I don't get to find out if my work is not good enough, or just not right for them at this time. It's not easy to get it right if you don't even know what right is. I have read the articles offering submission guidance, and make sure that I am providing everything that is requested in submissions guidelines.
I maybe need to be like the fabled philosophy student who, when faced with the exam question "what is courage:, wrote simply "this is". Take a few risks, think outside the box, have confidence and be brave, but for now, think I'll go and eat worms.
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