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Joanna Considine 
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Love is a losing game

Mr C is trying to woo me with talk of a new version of Love Island aimed at a more mature audience. I could apparently be an islander (is he trying to offload me? He hasn't said whether he would also be making an appearance.) The line-up so far is me, Ulrika Jonsson, and Joan Collins. I have suggested that maybe we should also invite Jennifer Anniston and Kylie Minogue, who are both older than me. And my friend Singapore Sally. Not sure that we would need any men in there. And cameras would definitely be banned. Just a few bottles of gin and a well stocked library. And maybe Netflix or Now TV. Everyone would be kind and look after each other. We would all share the housework and there would always be someone to talk to and laugh and dance with. It sounds like heaven, but I'm sure the novelty would soon wear off and we would eventually become our normal miserable selves.


Along the same lines of the 'which famous people would you invite to a dinner party, I like playing the police lineup game. Who would be suitable to join you in an identity parade? Mr C's line-up consists of Ray Winston (Treacle!), a very young Bob Geldof (google - you will melt!), Davos from Game of Thrones and Owen Teale. Mine has Joanne Catherall from Human League, Caroline Quentin, Hattie Jacques and a woman called Belinda who appeared in Big Brother in 2008. In my mind however, my parade would just be me, Natalie Imbruglia, Kristin Scott Thomas and Michelle Collins, looking like elegant quads. The first boy who ever asked me out said I reminded him of Michelle Collins, and although he may just have been trying to butter me up, I was still very flattered. I should have said yes.

Love Island is continuing to dominate our evening televisual viewing, although I have gone off most of the girls, and have not been at all impressed with how they have reacted when things haven't gone their way. The boys have mostly been great, warm and sensitive. I look forward to Casa Amor and think it might liven things up a little. No idea who will leave in tonight's episode, as there seem to be so many who could go. Still loving Curtis and Tommy best so I hope they will be saved!


Bad news - I have run out of downloaded Game of Thrones episodes, having got to the end of Season 4. Good news -I went to visit H last week and got a lovely unexpected surprise - he has bought the next 3 seasons for me. What a boy! He tried to interest me in some games he plays on the X Box, one of which was the goat simulator (which Thea refers to as the goat stimulator. Gotta love that girl, but you can't take her out in public.). The goat could pick up handbags with its tongue, and butt people into swimming pools. I think I am just old. But really, why?


In the meantime, I have been watching Big Little Lies, based on a book by one of my favourite authors, Liane Moriarty. The second series has just started, and I love it. And I still have to watch the second season of Killing Eve, another fabulous show. Mr C sat down to watch the first episode with me but was traumatised at Villanelle's brutality (I did warn him she was a psychopath but he was still very shocked and will not be watching any more.) And I have also started watching another series called The Affair, which was first shown in 2014. I think I have 4 seasons to catch up on, but will keep watching - I am truly gripped. I don't seem to have as much time for reading lately, but sometimes it's good to try something new, and I have been inspired by the stories on which these shows are based, so the cogs continue to turn.


T is still a star in the Slimming World awards; this week winning both Slimmer of the Week and Slimmer of the Month. Mr C and I did not fare so well, but there's always next week. Must try harder!


This week I have been twice to Delapre Abbey- the second time with Singapore Sal and her grown up children and T. The 3 kids were mortified at how loudly we sneezed, and then later laughed until we cried. Good job that they weren't around when we were 15, when extreme laughter would often result in wet knickers. This was due to laughing so hard, I hasten to add, rather than weak bladders. They came later!

Apologies that my blog has been delayed this week due to the aforementioned rainy rendezvous with Singapore Sal on Tuesday (mandatory flower photos above) and the Debenhams Sale on Wednesday.

Too bright? Too short? Too young? Yes to all 3.

I have been searching for months for an outfit to wear to my nephew's wedding in August. We found the perfect dress a few weeks ago in Hobbs, but it was very expensive and the largest size was a 16. It was a bit snug, with little room for dancing, canapés or gin, and so I decided it was too big a risk to take, although have been keeping a close eye on the sales ever since. It has now been reduced by £40, but is still too risky. And so the search continued, with trips to Rushden Lakes and Milton Keynes, although mainly online. Panic starting to set in this week , so I thought I would give Debenhams a try - somewhere I never shop, and I was completely overwhelmed with beautiful dresses, and spoilt for choice. I narrowed it down to 7 (and it was really hard), and then had to bring them all home, to seek guidance from Mr C and the girls. The last time I enrolled the help of Mr C, he sailed very close to the wind, telling me ' you're 50, remember that.' as I showed him changing room photos of me wearing Ted Baker creations which were admittedly a little on the short side. But this time, he redeemed himself, declaring that they were all fabulous and I must keep them all. On this occasion, I decided to take his advice. L is a harsh critic and dismissed my new shoes which I thought were edgy, as 'old lady shoes'. My skin has thickened considerably with this child. And the joy of having found 7 perfect dresses has been tainted slightly by the news from my sister that today Debenhams have a further 20% off everything. Serves me right - I should have stayed at home and written this yesterday, and left the shopping until today.

Somebody has had a birthday this week. L sent me a text yesterday morning in a panic, as she had suddenly noticed the date on the whiteboard in her lesson, reminding me 'Polly's Birthday!' Mr C bought her for me as a wedding present 6 years ago, and she brings so much sunshine into our lives every day. She is a pest sometimes, with her baboon face, her high pitched singing whenever she goes in the car, her tendency to eat her own poo, and to mess up the cushions as soon as I have straightened them, but otherwise she is a complete joy. L made her a birthday cake, made from cheese triangles, grated carrot, apple, celery and a lamb oxo cube. She can be kind at times, just not to her mother.


And finally - running news. All is going well although I have had sore foot pads - first the right foot and then the left one. It's improving now. And I have worked out how to get my music back - setting up a new playlist on amazon music and opting to 'listen offline'. Not sure how I did it, but it's back, and once again I can run without having to listen to my own panting, which was very disconcerting. Northern Soul wins every time! #KTF #loveisland #kylieminogue #ulrikajonsson #raywinston #c25k #debenhams #amblogging #amwriting #writingcommunity #delapreabbey




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