Since my birthday last month, I have slid off the Slimming World wagon a bit and found it hard to scramble back onboard. I eat well during the day, and then fall down after tea, craving biscuits and crisps. I feel as if my will power is crumbling, and although it's a surprise that it's taken this long for it to happen, I have travelled this road many times before and I don't want to end up back where I started.
I am hoping that I can turn things around with a new hobby. I have a couple of friends who have recently taken part in the Couch to 5K challenge. There is an App that can be downloaded to a mobile phone. A 'coach' talks the user through a series of combined walking and running sessions, and if they stick to it and do as they are told, they should be able to run 5K at the end of the 9 week programme, even if they were previously a potato.
My friends are not especially athletic and of a similar age to me, and I am thinking that if they can do it, maybe a potato like me can too. I am quite envious and a bit intrigued when I hear people talk about going for a run, and didn't think it was something I could ever do. So inspired by my fabulous friends, I did a trial session and walked and ran around the kitchen to see if it was doable. My dog Paddy was curious, and joined me in my part walking, part running circuit and then Mr C and L arrived home and they joined in too. They kept asking what I was doing, but I was too out of puff to tell them.
I just wanted to check in private that I could do what was required before launching myself on the outside world. It seemed OK, so I went to Primark and bought a sports bra (which requires herculean strength to put on and take off), shiny running leggings, a breathable top and jacket.
Next up was a trip to Sports Direct, where I found an excellent assistant (and a fellow runner) who gave me splendid advice on trainers. T was with me and nearly died from embarrassment as apparently I overshared, but it was necessary to inform him of my high instep and weak ankles, to enable him to find the right trainers for me. He also sold me some earphones that fit around the outside of my ear, so they won't fall out when I run (I failed to tell him that as my feet will barely leave the ground, impact on earplugs would be minimal, but I bought them regardless).
Mr C was waiting for me when I got home, all tooled up in his bobble hat and Ron Hills. We filled up the water bottles and off we went.
I faffed around for a couple of minutes trying to find the right place to start on the App, so Mr C and I were slightly out of sync, with his running sessions starting before mine, so he was always a bit ahead of me. I also felt at a slight disadvantage as my coach was Sarah Millican and his was Michael Jordan.
It was also tricky to co-ordinate the runs whilst waiting at pedestrian crossings, but we tried to look professional as we jogged on the spot and then walked on the spot as we waited for the green man.
We came across an old man with a limp, who I tried really hard to overtake during one of the running parts. He sped up when he heard me approaching him from behind, which I thought to be very unsportsmanly. When I did eventually overtake him, he just kept catching me up, so it was a relief when he took a different path. After my first minute of running, I remembered that I really should have brought my inhaler. And after the second run, I started needing a wee, but I battled on courageously. Somewhere between the third and fourth minute of running, I wished I had taken my friend Hairy Mary's advice and brought a hankie with me. And then I was confused and startled when a bell rang out of nowhere, but my coach's dulcet tones reassured me that I was halfway through and it was time to start heading home.
Anyway, we did it. We made it home in one piece but it was a killer! My chest felt like it might burst, although less so after a couple of puffs on my inhaler. It took hours for my face to fade back to its normal colour, and my inner thighs were on fire the next morning.
On Sunday morning I tried again - this time remembering to take the inhaler and tissues and leaving the water bottle at home because it was just another thing to weigh me down. I worked out how to listen to music at the same time and had even made a playlist (I'm so fancy!) of some of my favourite Northern Soul tracks to speed me on my way. I chose a different route - opting for a circuit close to where I live and avoiding traffic lights and steep inclines. Mr C was out, so I went on my own, and it was fine. I am going for the third time later today, and my calves are very stiff and I feel like my tendons might snap, but unless they do, I will be going. L and Mr C are coming too although I doubt we will stick together as L will get bored with my old lady pace, and Mr C will race off ahead with his new knee supports.
Always the optimist, I took a look at Park Run, which sounds great, but the photos on the website were a bit of a reality check. There are no fat people, and the only old ladies are very thin; you could make 4 of them from my left leg alone. Everyone has wide smiles and shiny healthy looking faces, no red faced gasping fat old birds. Lots of participants appear to take small children, buggies and dogs, which would be guaranteed to trip me up and there seem to be lots of photographers to record and publish the humiliation. I am going to give it a miss - although I may come back to it at some future point.
There are also running clubs and I have a friend Alison, (we are sort of related by marriage) who has offered to take me along with her. She has been running for a few months, and can already run 5K, which is very inspiring. For now, I think I prefer to suffer alone and in private, and if I can keep going and get better, when I am ready to run in front of proper runners, she will be my first choice of partner.
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