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Joanna Considine 
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Sometimes All I Need Is The Air That I Breathe

The running is going well I think. I completed the Week 5, Run 2 yesterday morning and it was OK, even though it was quite a step up from the previous runs, which were shorter with walking intervals. This one was a 5 minute warm up walk, 8 minute run, 5 minutes of brisk walking, 8 minutes run and 5 minute warm down walking. I sometimes have to use my inhaler, although on this occasion, I managed without. Tomorrow's run is going to be a biggie as it's 5 minutes warm up walking followed by a 20 minute run, with 5 minutes walking warm down. 20 minutes! This is a massive jump up. I was very worried, but I have been really reassured by reading posts on the Couch to 5K forum. I thought that perhaps I should repeat week 4 before launching myself onto the big runs, but I find that I am not alone in my concerns, and the advice is not to repeat runs unless you fail to complete them. And that Week 5 Run 3 although notorious, is actually a breakthrough run where you suddenly emerge as a runner. Contributors advise that it is more of a psychological test of endurance, but one which is completely doable as long as the previous runs have been completed. They say "trust the plan" and I am inclined to do so. And I find that rather than dreading it, I am actually quite looking forward to it, or at least looking forward to having completed it. And knowing that so many others have gone before me and succeeded, gives me grounds for believing that I can do it too. So apologies if I fail, but if I do it will be because I am a rotund clumsy unfit 50 year old, rather because of a lack of self belief.


Reading posts on the forum, I have also discovered, much to my disappointment, that completing the C25K does not automatically guarantee that I will be running 5K in 30 minutes, in fact it sounds like most people don't manage it - but I should be able to run for 30 minutes without stopping. I don't think that the designers of the program anticipated that people could run as slowly as I do, and I just really hope that I don't attempt my first 5K run, only to discover that I have only actually been running for 800metres. Slow sports are my forte, and in fact nobody in my family can swim alongside me without sinking.


I am still using the Couch to 5K App and my coach is Jo Whiley, who is perfect for me. I believe everything she tells me, and when she gives advice, I think "yes I will definitely try that". On Saturday she suggested wearing the most outrageous running gear, and made me think that perhaps it is time to expand my running wardrobe. I love my running trousers, which are black and shiny, and my trainers which are turquoise and purple and very bouncy. T bought me a special armband so I could wear my phone on my upper arm but it kept sliding down and distracting me, so I haven't worn it again. My jacket is mint green and I keep my phone in an inside pocket, with the inhaler in one of the outside ones. Last week as I did my second circuit of the estate, I spotted a blue inhaler on the floor and checked my pocket. to find that mine had fallen out. I was a little relieved as I was just getting to the stage where I might need it and knowing that I hadn't got it might make my breathing uncomfortable. I picked it up, only to find that someone had removed the little gas canister, and I slowed down to look around but couldn't see it anywhere. I wondered whether it had been done deliberately in case it was discovered by young children. Responsible behaviour, but at the same time quite dangerous for me. And frustrating as it takes 72 hours and nearly £9 to get a replacement. Fortunately I managed to continue without it, and when I returned a few days later, I did actually find the canister which had been thrown on the grass, and not safely disposed of at all. I picked it up and put it in my pocket, thinking that it must be mine although the more nervy part of my brain advising caution, in case the Ventolin had been replaced with noxious gases, or maybe a dog had weed on it. I have it at home now, as a spare and if I do get desperate, will use it then. But probably not before.


I had a lovely couple of days this week, spent with Singapore Sally, who was home on a flying visit. We went to Delapre Abbey, and she amazed everyone (as she used to at school when we were 14) with her amazing pronunciation and translation of Delapre and then we had a jacket potato with cheese and beans for old times sake in the Orangerie cafe (which she couldn't quite get her tongue around.).

We also went to the cinema to watch "At Eternity's Gate", at the Film House, along with Mr C. They were not impressed at all, but I really enjoyed it, some beautiful cinematography in a gentle sad film about Van Gogh.

I have been writing, spurred on by a visit to Abington Park, which is glorious at this time of year - mainly journalling, but it has kick started the writing part of my brain and I have an idea for a new story, which may or may not come to anything. It is funny how the tiniest most inconsequential events can create sparks when my brain is in writing mode. Mr C called me from the supermarket at the weekend and when he had finished speaking, neither of us disconnected the call. My phone was on loudspeaker, and it took a while (until he started talking to the cashier) before I realised where the voices, were coming from. I listened in for a couple of sentences, but then disconnected. It felt uncomfortable and wasn't at all interesting, but it planted story seeds which are slowly growing. I find that I am ripe and ready for new ideas, mainly because I am so desperately trying to avoid the major task of editing 'The Magpie'.

Pen drawing of Southwold, editing fallout....

It is constantly beckoning and I ignore it at my peril. But I am rubbish at doing things I don't want to do, a seasoned procrastinator and so easily distracted. Perhaps tomorrow's run will begin to help me to develop mental strength and fortitude and then I will be able to crack on with the editing, find an agent and become a successful author. The longest journey begins with a single step....

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